You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
