so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
