just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
