I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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