Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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