you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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