I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drunk is not a location!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
