sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
