So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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