I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
