I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
