Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
