did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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