After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
