found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
