Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
