Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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