the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
