Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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