I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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