We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
