Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
