It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
