I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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