that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
