We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
