butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
