I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
