Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
