In the future we'll all be gay
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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