how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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