i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
