i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
