remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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