The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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