If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
