I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
