I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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