were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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