Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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