Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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