So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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