i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
