Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
