i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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