Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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