smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think my vagina is haunted
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
