He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize