i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
