fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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