It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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