It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Farmville is her only friend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
