oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
