I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
