hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
