I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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