oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
