so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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