Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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