in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
