Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
