i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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