so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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