blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
